"I Want to Give My Baby Up for Adoption"
It’s common to think that adoption means you’re "giving up" your baby. But that's not what it means at all. Adoption means you want what’s best for your child, and that you are considering all of your options in seeking to give your child the best life possible. Listed below are some options you might consider before beginning your adoption process.
Types of Adoption:
There are three different types of adoption, and you will need to consider what type you feel most comfortable with. The choice you make is entirely up to you. And it will determine the kind of relationship you will have with the adoptive parents and your child. The three different types are: open adoption, semi-open adoption, and closed adoption.
This is a very common choice for women. Open adoption allows you to pick the family and then to have ongoing contact with them throughout the child's life. An open adoption allows you to have a direct relationship with the adoptive parents and the child, with a level of contact that depends on how you feel and what you think is best. Texting, phone calls, and visits are common in an open adoption.
A semi-open adoption is similar to an open adoption. You are able to pick the family, meet them before delivery, and spend some time with the baby while at the hospital. In the months and years ahead, you may (if you want) receive pictures and letter updates. But unlike with an open adoption, there are usually no personal visits or direct contact.
This type of adoption involves less contact than the other two. Typically you won't choose the adoptive family or have a relationship with them, either before or after delivery. Every adoption is unique, though—and as the birth mom, you are in charge of how “closed” you want the adoption to be.
Type of Family:
You have many options in choosing a family for your child. You get to decide if you want a heterosexual couple, a same-sex couple, or a single parent. If you have preferences about other aspects of the adoptive parents, such as their personalities, occupations, lifestyle, or place of residence, you can choose that as well. Whatever the ideal family that you have in your mind for your baby, you get to choose.
Type of Support:
When you’re considering an adoption, you’ll also need to consider what adoption agency you’d like to work with—and therefore, what kind of support they can provide.
Adoption is a lifelong journey, and sometimes an emotionally challenging one. Before choosing an agency, you should consider the kind of emotional support you’d like to receive both during and after the adoption. Some agencies provide lifelong support to birth mothers, while others just provide support for a limited amount of time.
Financial support is also an important consideration. Certain agencies may be able to help you with medical expenses, living expenses, and other necessary financial assistance to keep you safe and stable throughout your pregnancy and post-delivery.
Type of Adoption Specialist:
You should also think about the type of adoption specialist you’d most like to work with. Is there somebody who can work with you locally? Being in the same state as your adoption specialist will give you a totally different experience than working with someone over the phone. Having someone who will take you to doctors’ appointments and meet with you in person is invaluable. It’s also important for you to like the person you’ll be working with. Are they warm and kind? Do you feel a connection with them? Are they someone you want by your side throughout the adoption process?
Whatever options you choose, feel proud of yourself. The decision to place your child for adoption is a decision to provide your baby with a wonderful future. You're a good mom.