Parenting vs. Adoption: Pros & Cons
Yes, you are pregnant. But that doesn't mean you should become a parent before you are ready. You need to decide what’s best for you and your baby—and you have options! The first thing to do is to become well informed. Here are some things to consider when thinking about the choice between parenting and adoption.
Parenting Is Expensive
Parenting can be a wonderful experience, and it can’t really be measured in terms of money. We know that. You know that. Even so, it’s important to recognize that being a parent is a huge financial undertaking. Over the course of a child’s life, it’s estimated that a parent will spend about $250,000. Every mom wants to provide her child with the best life possible, and the ability to afford raising a child is an important thing to consider.
Goals For Yourself
What are your goals in life? If you would like to graduate from high school or college, or to embark upon a new job or career, being a new parent may make these objectives hard to achieve. And that, in turn, may affect your entire future. Maybe you’ll decide that it’s worth it. Maybe not. But above all, you need to think about these things—your goals, your future—in making your decision. And if you decide that parenting is not the best choice for you right now, that’s ok. It doesn’t mean that parenting is off the table forever. You can be a parent later, when the timing is better.
Goals For Your Baby
You want to provide your baby with the happiest and healthiest life possible, with the best possible future. Given your current situation—your income, your education, your family support—how well can actually provide for your baby? The answer may be that you can do it very well indeed. But maybe not. This may be a difficult time in your life, or just the wrong time in your life—and you may decide that an adoptive family would be in a much better position to provide your baby with a wonderful life. If so, you will have the option (if you want) to actually choose the family, and thus to ensure that your baby is in the loving, caring hands of people who can provide her with every possible kind of support.
What Is the Right Choice?
Only you can say what is right for you and your baby, and no two birth moms are the same. What’s right for one may not be right for another. That’s ok. The important thing is that you see the situation for what it is, get as informed as you can about the options available to you, and make a knowledgeable decision that you can feel good about. Everyone “knows” about parenthood—but many people who have never had kids really don’t know much about what it means to take on such a commitment. When it comes to adoption, people are even less informed—it’s an option they’ve never really thought about before. Your job is to get up to speed on both parenting and adoption. This decision will affect the rest of your life. And the rest of your baby’s life. Make it a good one.
If you’d like to talk to a professional with lots of experience in these matters—someone who will help you learn about your options and think things through, with zero pressure either way and lots of caring and support—please get in touch with us. We’re on your side, and we’re here to help, whatever you ultimately decide.