The most important step in domestic adoption is choosing a family to place your baby with. Whether you are considering placing your baby for adoption or have already started the process, you will eventually meet with and choose the parents who will adopt your baby if you wish to do so.
How do you choose adoptive parents?
First, you will view their adoption profiles, which will tell you all about the family and their lives. Next, you will have the opportunity to meet the adoptive parents and ask them questions.
But what kind of adoption questions should you ask adoptive parents? Here are some of the most important adoption questions you can ask!
Adoption Questions to Ask Adoptive Parents
1. How did you two meet and how long have you been together?
Starting the conversation can be a little intimidating. However, this is a great question to ask couples to break the ice. In addition, you can learn a little about the family who may adopt your baby.
On the other hand, if you are speaking with a single person who wants to adopt, you could ask, “Why did you choose a single life?”
2. How do you resolve conflicts in your marriage?
Asking this question will reveal the temperament of the couple when they are in difficult situations. When in disagreement, does the couple get angry, or do they resolve it peacefully? When a problem arises, are they able to keep calm? Do they seem like positive people? Couples need to resolve conflicts peacefully when children are present.
3. What have you learned from your parents’ marriage? Did they set positive examples for you?
This question will give you a glimpse into adoptive parents’ lives growing up. Did they have positive role models that will reflect on their parenting style? On the other hand, if the couple had more difficult parents, did the couple learn from them?
4. What are your views on divorce?
A couples’ view of divorce may reveal how stable the couple is in their marriage. Asking this question will help you better evaluate the stability of a couples’ relationship. The couple’s answer may make or break the bond, depending on your views of marriage. This question can be uncomfortable to ask; however, it is important to ask if you have strong views about marriage.
5. What kind of work do you do? How much time do you spend at work?
Understanding adoptive parents’ jobs will help you learn more about their lives. Additionally, it will help you see how much time they spend on work versus at home with the family.
6. How important is work for you?
Is work their number one priority, or does it take a back seat to a family? A couple who prioritizes family life will likely spend more time with his/her children. On the other hand, someone who prioritizes work may neglect family relationships.
7. What kind of neighborhood do you live in? Do you plan on staying there long-term?
Does the couple live in a safe neighborhood? Is it close to good schools? This question will help you learn more about how your child will grow up. On the other hand, if the family moves around a lot, you may want to learn how often they plan on moving during a child’s life.
8. Are you close to your extended family? How do they feel about you adopting?
Couples who are close with their families will often spend more time with them. If you are someone who wants your child to grow up with a tight-knit family, this may be a good question to ask. Similarly, if the couples’ families are supportive of the adoption, it may mean that the family will be close to the child as s/he grows up.
9. Do you have friends who you see often? Do they have young children?
What kind of people are the couple friends with? Are they family-oriented? You probably want to make sure the people who are around your child are good people too, so asking this question will help you learn about them.
10. How important is it that your child attend college? Will you support them even if they choose a career field different from the ones you prefer?
How supportive are the adoptive parents? You no doubt want your child to be educated and successful. However, it’s important to make sure the adoptive parents encourage that as well. Some parents may pressure their children to choose a career with practical value. However, if you want your child to follow their dreams, explore opportunities, and choose a career they would enjoy, it’s important to make sure the adoptive parents value that as well.
11. Are you religious? If so, what kind of faith-based values will you instill in your child(ren)?
Whether you are religious or not, you may be curious about the beliefs the adoptive parents hold. If they are religious, they will likely raise the child to believe the same thing. Does the couple’s religion promote good values and morals? What kind of lessons will they teach him/her? The answers to these questions may reveal more about the couple’s parenting style as well.
13. What are your interests and hobbies?
What do they like to do as individuals and as a couple? Do they plan on sharing those hobbies with their child(ren)? Not only will this question help you learn more about the couple, but it will also show you more about how they live their lives.
14. What kind of traditions do you have?
What holidays do the couple celebrate? Do they have any special traditions? How will the child be included in those traditions?
15. How would you describe your parenting style?
This is probably one of the most important questions you can ask. While many of the other questions elude to the couple’s parenting and lifestyle, this question will outright reveal what they value most as a parent.
16. How do you discipline your child?
How strict are the parents? Do they believe in positive reinforcement or do they seem overly critical? Ensure that their parenting style and view of discipline are in line with your standards.
17. How important is health and wellness in your family?
Will the adopted child eat healthily? Is exercise encouraged? You no doubt want your child to be healthy and thriving, so this question will help you see how healthily your child will live.
18. Do you plan on telling the child s/he is adopted?
In an open adoption, you can determine if and how often you meet the adoptive parents. Then, all of you can decide if you visit the baby after s/he is born and placed with the family. If you do not play a part in the child’s life, however, then you may be curious to know what the adoptive parents will tell the child about you. Will they tell him/her that s/he is adopted? Will they tell the child about you specifically? All of these topics are important discussion topics you should have with adoptive parents.
Talk to a Professional
Whether you have already started the adoption process, are looking to begin, or are simply thinking about what to do, it’s always a good idea to talk to a professional.
Texas Adoption Center is there to support you through this momentous change in your life. They will help you choose the type of adoption that works best for you, guide you through the adoption process, and even provide you with emotional and financial support before, during, and after the adoption. If you choose to keep your baby, they will support you with that too.
Texas Adoption Center might be modern and professional, but they are also down-to-earth, caring, warm, and dedicated to your happiness and well-being. Their goal is to empower you to make choices that are best for you and your baby.
To learn more about how they can help you find the perfect adoptive family for your baby, contact them today at (512) 893-7943.