There is no one "right" or "wrong" reason to place your child for adoption.
Adoption is a beautiful and loving choice, and the reasons why each birth mom decides to place her baby are unique and special to each different mom, and situation.
For whatever reason(s) you are considering adoption, trust that your instincts come from a loving place and that no one else needs to “approve” of your choice, but you.
Whatever you decide for your baby’s future will be the best decision; you are a great mom for trying to provide your baby with the best life possible.
Common Reasons Birth Moms May Consider Adoption
1. Not Ready To Parent
Are you ready to be a parent? There is nothing wrong with answering “no” to this question.
Becoming a new parent can be scary, and not everyone is ready for this kind of life change. This is one of many reasons for putting a child up for adoption.
Deciding that you are not ready to parent does not make you a bad mom. The fact that you are considering the best option for you and your baby makes you a loving parent, even before your baby is born.
You want to be the best parent that you can be for your child, and you won’t be if you feel pressured to parent before it’s time. You should feel confident in your instincts; if this is your reason for considering adoption, rest assured, it’s a good one.
2. Lack of Support
The phrase “raising a child takes a village” is more true than you might think.
Though being a single parent can be a wonderful experience, having and raising a baby on your own can also be extremely difficult.
Many times, the birth father is out of the picture. Family is far away. Friends are busy with their own lives. Regardless of what your situation is, if you don’t feel you have the emotional, physical, and financial support of people in your life, parenting a child is going to be more difficult.
3. Financial Stress
Parenting can be a wonderful experience, and it can’t really be measured in terms of money. We know that. You know that.
Even so, it’s important to recognize that being a parent is a huge financial undertaking. The USDA reported that the average family spends approximately $12,980 each year on a child.
As a mom, you want to give the best life possible to your child, and the ability to provide for your child is an important thing to consider. For some birth moms, this is not your first pregnancy or child. Considering the financial impact that raising another baby would have on your other children is also important.
4. Future Goals
Only you know what your goals are for you and your baby’s future.
Where do you see yourself in five years? Being a parent and achieving your goals is definitely not impossible, but being a new parent can make these objectives hard to achieve. Thinking long term is very important.
To be the best parent possible (now and possibly in the future), you need to consider your goals for the future.
5. Changing the Home Environment
Perhaps you are working towards goals in your career. Maybe you have a job that requires travel, or you have plans to move around a lot in the coming years. Whatever the reason, you know that you will not be in the same place for an extended period.
Studies do indicate that moving frequently takes a toll on the emotional health of children. Moving around with a child is not impossible, but it adds another layer of considerations to make. For some individuals, this is the reason for putting a child up for adoption.
6. Too Young
The choice to become a parent is a big one. Some may find that they are not prepared for this undertaking.
Pregnant teenagers, for example, may want to focus on completing their education without the added element of parenting.
Young birth mothers sometimes choose adoption because they do not yet have the skills necessary to raise a child.
7. Disapproval of Family
One of the reasons for putting a child up for adoption is that the birth mother feels those around her would disapprove. This situation is never easy, but adoption provides a confidential solution.
Legally, adoption proceedings are not open to the public. Federal law states that “the records of the adoption proceeding are sealed and may not be opened except upon a judicial finding of good cause, or in some states upon the mutual consent of all parties.”
In this case, adoption protects the mother from dealing with discouraging family members and ensures the child is placed with a loving family.
8. Examined Other Options
Only you know what’s best for you and your baby. You may decide that parenting is not the right choice for you, and that terminating the pregnancy is not something you want to do.
After weighing the other options, adoption may emerge as the best course of action. Examining the options can be overwhelming.
9. Chance to Help Others
Another reason for putting a child up for adoption: helping a family who can’t have children. In some situations, couples are unable to conceive children. So, they turn to adoption as a way to start a family. Approximately 81.5 million people in the U.S. have considered adopting a child.
Birth mothers can make a waiting family’s dream come true. Many amazing couples and individuals looking to adopt!
10. Personal Health
Poor physical or mental health can impact your ability to parent. Some women find that they are not in the right condition to raise a child due to health issues.
If this is the case, placing the baby for adoption may be the best choice for you. Taking care of yourself is important for both you and your unborn child.
11. Better Opportunities for the Child
Some birth mothers feel that they cannot give the child what they deserve. You may believe that another family can provide a life for your child that you cannot.
Choosing to place the baby for adoption is a selfless decision. You are placing the needs of your child above your own. In an open adoption, you can choose the adoptive family that you feel is right for your child.
The list above covers just some of the reasons for putting a child up for adoption. No matter what drives your decision, you have your child’s best interest at heart.